Motivational Monday!

Who inspires you?

A question I get asked quite a bit....I've also been told by a few that I inspire them, which shocks the hell out of me.

I've said before that my grandmother was and still is an inspiration of mine. She was the epitome of a beautiful, loving, kind wife & mother...everything I strive to be, everyday. She was also someone who was on me about my weight and wanted to see me be the beautiful & healthy granddaughter she knew I was. The woman I knew I was but just didn't know how to find her....after 2 babies I knew I needed to make a change but after she died I fell into this depression I couldn't shake. A little backstory, my mother & grandmother both had heart attacks within a week of eachother, my mom first. She was alive but needed a triple bypass in the next few months, the day she was released from the hospital (7 days later) I got a call from my aunt that my grandmother had passed away overnight. It was the day after Valentine's Day....to say that was a rough time for me is an understatement...I had started to workout & eat better and had gotten to 200lbs finally and then it just all went to pieces....I got pregnant 6 months later only to have a miscarriage at 7 weeks along. 2010 was a rough year. But I got pregnant with our Brody in January of 2011 and everything changed. I had him in October and started this journey.

So back to who inspires me....

It started with a single person but it's grown into being inspired by everyone around me. It's the friends I've made who go through similar struggles, it's those friends that push me & make me not want to give up. It's the friend who tags along with me to a class because they are so impressed with how far I've come, it's family members who look at me so differently, it's complete strangers that read this blog and message me with encouraging words. And although lately I feel like that inspirational spirit of my grandmother is nowhere to be found, I've finally figured out that she's still there, she just wants me to take the wheel....and I need to. I need to become my own inspiration. I need to be the reason I'm changing, the reason I'm growing....

it's gonna sound a little cheesy but my grandmother had this candle that she always smelled like and when she passed away I took it. I wanted to remember her smell...I also found the lotion to match it so whenever I feel a little lost or am thinking of her, when I need her, I put on her lotion or I light the candle and it helps remind me of where I come from and I even hear her voice deep inside me saying "Morgan Marie, I know you can do it. You have to finish what you start." 

That woman will always be someone who inspires me...she was truly the best person I have ever had in my life. 

Find someone who inspires you but don't let that be the focus....try to live one day at a time and focus on the change within you so that you can see the change on the outside. Your inspiration may not always be there so you need to want this for yourself. You have to do this for you first and if along the way some inspiration comes then roll with it....you are what matters and maybe one day you can inspire others.....